When it's cold inside

City lights, speeding cars. Fast forward life. People walking like in the movies; fast fast. If I stopped right there, no one would notice. No one would hear my laughter (inside my head).Walk walk walk. One step after the other. Easy. You've done this before, haven't you?

This is what normal people do. Pick up the wallet, take out the credit card, hand it over. Get the bag, get the bag, get the bag. Sorry. Rewind. Do it again. Get the bag, thank the clerk (no looking into eyes, never), walk out. Move forward, never stop.

Eat lunch, stare out the window. People with big plastic bags passing. They smile – do they take pleasure in this? Are they laughing? At me? My hair must be weird, my acne's got worse? It must be the paleness of my skin. Bow the head. Crazy. You should have known that.

There's no leaving. No leaving alone. I adjust to the pace, start to see the stars through other's eyes. Start to see the city as conformity. Cold, cold. And I buy. I buy myself a new me (can it be exported?). I know this life is a state of emergency. I will return to sanity soon.

I see city lights, speeding cars, heavy trams. I see heights from scyscraper's rooftops. I notice the Others. I find peddlers and liquids with high percentages. I find forgiveness and oblivion. I find peace for another night. I've experienced the city's other lights, the darker shades (but I've known them before, dear old friends of mine).

Skip a beat. Skip a year. No one will notice. You've done this before, haven't you.