Serendipity

I apologize for not being beautiful. Complete. Whole. For being ruthless, strange, egoistic. For being unable to deal with life. I apologize for hurting you constantly, all over again. For having no concept of what's enough, moderate. For not understanding your benevolence, your engagement, your love. For being intact, yet leaking. For being unable to receive, yet persisently give. For being unstable, unbalanced.

I apologize for myself and that my presence is demanding. For not knowing what I want. For constantly changing, being impulsive. For making myself lonely. For being unable to understand.

I apologize for my guilt, my shame. I apologize for my jealousy, for my envy. For my low self esteem, for my varied self esteem. For not seeing my worth, my worthiness, my dignity. I apologize for being me.