I need some bodies, something, you

I need some passion, I need revolution, I need you and all the sisters in the world. I need something else.

Everything looks perfect from far away, I'm not in that picture

It's strange because it is you that I can talk to, it is you that I want to talk to, want to pour my heart out and I don't know if that is appropriate (is it?). Should we talk about this? I don't know, I never know what's appropriate, I don't want to. I would like for the world to be different, to be a place where I can be just the one I want to be. I have these great ideas about life, love and loneliness, about passion, relations and forevers. But I never find anyone who shares them, I never find the other part, the person I can say these things to without being regarded as a weirdo. The world makes me sad sometimes, it makes me feel restrained and forces me to be common in a dull way. And the older I get (tomorrow I'll be halfway to 52) the more concerned I get – is this it? Is this the way it's going to continue, forever and ever? (There was a time when I just couldn't stand that thought, and tried to do some things that would relieve me from my agonies.)

I just wanna sleep beside you, feel the warmth of another body, of you, of something. Don't say no to me, just be. Just be the way you've been the last weeks, just be yourself, be me, be together, be something else than you've assigned to be. I don't know why, please don't ask me, i don't know any answers. I just feel this intense burning, craving, of being near you. Being in the same room or I'll just miss you. I wanna break boundaries, I wanna be in another way, but I don't want to do wrong against you. It's not a girl-and-boy-thing, this is on another level. There's no physical needs to be addressed, not in the conventional way. I just really feel like you're the one for me, you're the friend that I will need during this year. But I think we have to talk it through, I know that others think things about us that aren't there, that aren't we. Am I right?

I told you that I'm intense, that I'm passionate, I need other things than most other people. I need someone like you, someone who keeps me on the right track, someone who takes care of me when I've had too much to drink, someone whose shoulders always would be available. Say that it is you, say that you've found me for a reason! I don't believe in faith or anything, I just believe in living fully, to the utmost, keeping it real, keeping it insane. And it's all about love anyway, right?

My patience isn't that long, I have flawes, I do things that aren't always thought through in a way that they should be (passion have no counterpart in reason). I'm difficult, sometimes annoying and often I don't give damn about how other people perceive me. But although I feel this intensely, I don't want you to get hurt in any way. I don't know why I have to write this to you, I just feel that there is societal boundary that I'd feel like making visible for you, so that you know exactly where I'm coming from. If you don't get anything of the things that I've written about, just forget about it and we'll keep moving on towards another shared understanding of us.