I'll be your protector forever

Heavy rain all night, thunder and lightning. Sleep hasn't come to me tonight. You're in my head, in my room, in my bed, hindering me from leaving you, even for a second. I get up, make som tea and sit by the window, watching the 106 bus stopping across the street. People getting off, heading to warm homes, beds and arms. Next morning, you've sent me pain, you've sent me yourself - and I knew about it before you even told me.

And I try to mother you, try to be the lost one, the replacer: caressing your hair, humming one of those songs you used to love, holding you tight (so tight that our heartbeats can be heard as one). I'm here, my beloved, I'm here. Just beside you, so near, closer, just underneath your skin. I'm always here, nevereverleaver.

(I'm going to take the pain away, yes, come here and leave it in me instead. I know how to carry it, I've done it before, I'll do it forever, I'll do it for you.)